How do you make a baby float? 1 can root bear 2 scoop baby

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What's the different between a trampoline and a baby? You take off your shoes before jumping on a trampoline.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man walk into a bar, the bartender asks what they would like to drink, after respnding, paying and receiving their drinks, they sit down to drink them. What a lovely scene of ethnic diversity

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Knock knock! Who's there? Luke. Luke who? Leukemia.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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It's easy to take part, just type your text below! no

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Knock Knock? Who's there? How did you know it was me?

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

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What is green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels part.

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Why did the father not text back? He died in a car crash

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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A black person walks out of KFC

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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What did the judge say to the midget when he sent him to jail ? Stop beating your wife

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Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

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A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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A sad-looking man entered a bar. The barman asked, "why so sad?" The man replied, "I have a terminal illness."

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My dog has no dictionary. How does he spell terrible?

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Knock Knock Who's there? St. Judes St.Judes who ? St.Judes Research Hospital calling. Give me money, I've got cancer kids dying

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Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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