why did the walrus sex with the jew because 911 created a sexual falafel

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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Whats worse than three dead women in a ditch ? 4 dead women in a ditch.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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whos the bitch now!?! you are.

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Two men walk into a bar. One gets drunk, goes home, savagely beats his wife, and goes to jail for domestic abuse.

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Why did the Irishman walk out of the bar? He didn't. He's Irish

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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How do you describe a funny man on stilts? Stand up comedy

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A: What time is it? B: Half past six.

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What did the bat say to the human? Nothing because bats make too high of frequency noises for humans to understand

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A man walks into a bar Ouch!

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What is the answer to the question of Life, the Universe and Everything? That doesn't make any sense.

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Q:What's the difference between a turtle and a cat? A: One's a turtle and the other is a cat....

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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Patient: Doctor Doctor I think I have HIV! Doctor: Wtf to that one...

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a customer walks into a store and says, "the customer is always wrong." the employee replies, "no, the customer is always right." "you just contradicted yourself."

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Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

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Whats the difference between the black man and the white man? The black man was born with more melanin the pigment in there skin, which would concur the black man did have darker skin. Also, the white man had cancer.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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