An irish man walks out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If you like this, it will have one extra like

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Who has big eyes, big ears, and a big mouth? The witness I'm about to murder so he cannot testify against me. Wish me luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? -getting raped by 10 very hung men who go balls deep

thumb_up thumb_down +1

wanna no wats not funny........ aids

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Yo Mama is so fat that she has to wear large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was Sally rolling in the grass? She was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:What would strawberry short cake never say? A: Very

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was sitting next to a man with jelly in one ear and peanut butter in the other, so I turned to him and said "Are you a trifle deaf?" and he said "No, I'm mentally ill."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your mom is so dumb that she doesn't get this joke

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's worse than finding a holocost in your apple. A truck full of dead babies then what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babies in your apple. Braving to pich fork them out

thumb_up thumb_down +1

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

whats the best thing about polio...death

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anyone??????????/

thumb_up thumb_down -1

And love is, bein' the owner of a company that makes rape whistles and even though you started the company with good intentions trying to reduce the rate of rape, now you don't wanna reduce it at all cuz if the rape rate declines you'll see an equal decline in whistle sales. Without rapists, who's gonna buy your whistles? Who's gonna buy your whistles? Love is all about whistles.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

thumb_up thumb_down -1

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then watch the world as they wonder how you did it

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are black Violets are white I'm colorblind

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock whos there? A dead black man ... i farted

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did little Timmy get his grandmother for Christmas? A coffin

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops