A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between a woman with an IQ of 160, and a man who is mentally challenged? Although being a much easier potential victim, no one has raped the mentally challenged man.. yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are productive members of society. -Canis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What time is it when you should go to the dentist? About ten minutes before whatever happens to be the time of your appointment.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Wanna know something funny? Your face

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A short Irish man and a tall German man went skydiving. Both parachutes coincidentally failed to deploy and they died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Im thinking of a very long word..... L O N G

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I had a date. She was a pegasister. Since MLP was magical, I disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why Was Did Jill Cross The Road? She Needed To Get To Work.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A handicapp walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how much wood can a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood three wood

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

I tried to call my friend in Haiti. It went straight to vibrate.....

thumb_up thumb_down +11

what do you call a Ukrainian who eats pirogi's A walking stereotype

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why do you always find a dead baby in the last place you look? Because once you've found it, you stop looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops