How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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Why can't you give a diabetic a cookie? Due to the lack of Insulin produced in the Pancreas, the sudden spike of sugar into the blood stream may send the person into a diabetic coma, which good possibly result in the amputation of a limb.

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One of them you crack open with a sledgehammer and feast upon, and the other is a dead baby.

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All your base are belong to us. Shame on you for making fun of the Japanese. They can't help their broken English sometimes. How would you like it if someone were to nitpick about every single word you typed? Yeah, bet you wouldn't like that, would you? Would it make you feel a bit more guilty to know these people suffered through a horrible earthquake and tsunami - and still managed to survive? Huh? Or that they continue to outshine most other countries in the world in the field of high-technology? Sure, maybe they DID blow up Pearl Harbor in 1941 and send us reeling into another World War. Everyone makes mistakes. Based on the past, "All your base are belong to us" seems pretty trivial now, doesn't it? Go apologize to a Japanese man right now, and never speak of this again.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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What is pink, female and has two dicks? A mother with two sons, both called Richard.

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What did the retarded asian dolphin eat for breakfast? A big bowl of shit

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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How did the snail travel around the world without any help from a transportation device? Sadly, it didn't. The snail is incapable of this kind of long distance travel due to it's small size, lack of speed and short lifespan.

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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What did the disabled boy get on Christmas morning? Cancer.

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Who's Italian and plays with a peach? Mario

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A blonde, brunette and redhead are walking in the forest when they come across a set of tracks. The brunette says, "Those are dear tracks." The redhead says, "Those are elk tracks." The blonde says, "Those are moose tracks." They are then hit by bus.

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This made my day: The Japanese verb "to drink" is "nomimasu". [L]

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What do a snake and a bird have in common... They both fly, except the snake

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Polite say "Hey you, get out of that tree."

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What's a pirate's favorite school subject? Pirate math.

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Why did the lightbulb go out? It was on too long

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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A mormon walks into a bar. He orders a caffeine free Coke.

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Roses are red. I have OCD. That rose IS red right.. Let me check again.

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You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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