i am iron man running over fat kids in my van

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

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guys stop with the jewish jokes anne frainkly its getting old

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Why is a banana yellow? I don't know, ask a scientist, stupid

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Stephen Hawkings viewed porn as a child

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

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Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

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What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

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how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

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In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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24

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Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

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What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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