what makes the world go round? An axis (just jokin, its COFFEE)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

thumb_up thumb_down +14

why did joe drown ? he had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the man tell the other man to shut up? The other man said something that made this particular man mad which drove him to tell the other man to shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven raped and murdered eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red, violets are blue, i have Alzheimer's, CHEESE ON TOAST

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the white man say to the black man that was very interested in the story he had to tell? Cool Story bro, tell it again!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so can I have your text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call the twin towers? An airport

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Man 1: Ask me if I'm a tree. Man2: Are you a tree? Man1: no.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Two men walk into a bar. You think the second man would have seen it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

In the weeks following the original release of Die Hard, reports sprung up across the nation of impressionable boys overdosing while masturbating.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops