How many people with Alzheimers does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

How come Hellen keller is blind and deaf? Cause she is a women.

How do you stop the neighbors kids from jumping the fence into your property? Molest them.

what is fat, sweaty, and italian? Italians

Why did the baby fall out the window? Because the parents left the window open by the crib.

What do a black man and an apple have in common? They are both carbon based life forms.

Old guitars sound like cat's guts

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

What's yellow, long, hard, and moves up and down? A banana in an elevator...

What's the difference between you and yourself? Yourself has 4 more letter in it.

Why did the baboon fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

How do you starve a black man? Take away his current food stocks, and means of income.

Why did the man have a curiously-shaped scar on his cheek? He had been mauled by an owl as a child.

what's the difference between a male and female skeleton? The jaw bone structure

Why did someone see a penguin walking in the desert? They were dreaming, because Penguins waddle and live in the Arctic.

why did the black boy read a book. Because he had a book report due next week

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 is a homophobe and 7 is a little fruity.

What do you get if you buy a big mac with a ten pound note? Change.

Why don't dinosaurs talk anymore? Because they're all dead, duh. :P

Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

Q: What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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