What does the alien say to the man? Nothing, because it is highly unlikely that an alien would ever land on Earth, and even more unlikely that they would speak the same language of us. On top of that, aliens would not know anything about our species, and would probably hide from us due to being frightened and eventually flee back to their home planet where we would never see them again because our techonology is not advanced enough and the chances that we would find their planet which is somewhere among the billions of planets in the universe, are slim.

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A man says to a woman, "hey, bitch, shut your fucking mouth you goddamn hooker." Most hookers are used to it.

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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How many dead babies fit into a bathtub? 23

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Why did the mailman cross the road? To deliver mail

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What do dead babies and trash both have in common? They're both in my dumpster.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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How do you teach a black guy to swim? You sign him up for swimming lessons.

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4

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I killed someone today. :D

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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full house

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why are Asians such bad drivers? They're not: it is a racist stereotype that is propagated by people who are so insecure that they must put others down to feel good about themselves.

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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Did i just hear a joke about birds? No? Well this is Hawkward.

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Why do girls have bumps around their nipples ? -it's brai for suck here .

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops