If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

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How did the man with no arms or legs cross the street? He didn't.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Why did lil' Jimmy fall off his bike? The weight ratio between the left and right sections of his body became uneven due to some sort of change in the traction of the tires to the bumps on the road/ path.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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What do you call a bus filled with White, Chinese, and Black people? Public transportation.

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pickle sniffer

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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what did the wall say to the floor? nothing interior structure supports do not talk

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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fack me in the ace! CC

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Why was Steve hungry? Because the last time he ate was yesterday.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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What is the difference between a shark and a human? A shark is a type of fish with a full cartilaginous skeleton and a highly streamlined body and a human is the only living species in the Homo genus.

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What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant? While the term "Mexican" encompasses a wide range of individuals and individual predilections, the most common cibarious preference would likely be a food that is reminiscent of his or her homeland; that is, what we refer to as Mexican food. An authentic nearby joint sporting such provisions would likely be the most common preference, but, as this description can only be traced on the local scale, a specific restaurant that covers a wider range of locations would be a more appropriate answer. Among the top choices are Taco Time and Taco Del Mar.

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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Cripples are lame.

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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What do you call an englishman who wakes up in Africa Confused

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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