whats red and bad for your teeth... A brick.

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Q:Why do black people wear fitted caps? A: So pigeons don't shit on their lips.

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who's best is friend is really good looking? James Cornish

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Did you hear the joke about the Israeli guy with the cruise missile down his pants? Me neither. I hope it's a good joke.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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What's the worst part about censorship? **** *** **** **** *** **** *** ********.

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A man decides to go hunting in the woods with a shotgun, he is going through the woods and a bear randomly pops out of no where, knocks him down and rapes him. So the next day he came back with an even bigger shotgun and said, "i am going to kill this bear" so he goes through the woods, the bear comes out of nowhere, knocks him down and rapes him again. So he comes back the next day with and even bigger shotgun and says, " i am going to kill this bear, skin it, and eat it" so hes going through the woods and out comes the bear, knocks him down, gets real close to his face and says, "you dont come out here for the hunting do ya".

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How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? The pigment in their skin.

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What happened to the man who jumped into a puddle? He contracted hypothermia due to the low temperatures of the water. He died the next day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Whats worse than ten dead babies in one tree? I dont know, but that is quite a graphic sight i have in my mind right now.

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping at least one of the puns would win but, unfortunately, the highest he placed was 4th.

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, he can't come anyway.

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What is white and stands in the corner? A refridgerator who has been very bad...

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, your entire family has died in a terrible car accident.

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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Your mom is so fat, every time she swims in the ocean, north america sinks because of the high water displacement caused by her giant body mass. (V1-V2=m)

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What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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READ IT ALL> whats the difference between a jew and a pizza...the jew is a human with living features and organs that keep his body hydrated while also keeping his blood pumped throughout him, otherwise the pizza is a circular, doe based cake like food topped with a fine layer of cheese and in some cases topped of with other substances such as pineapple or ham :)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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