Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? There's an alive one at the bottom what's worse than that? He ate his way out what's worse than that? He enjoyed it

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Two cannibals are eating a clown, one says to the other: "Maybe we should rethink our ways of life and realize why animals are on this planet"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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-Hey I know something funnier than 24, ---What? -25! Hey I know something funnier than 25. ---What? -The Holocaust!

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Why can't Hellen Keller play hide and go seek? Because she is dead.

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Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

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Halts Maul Reid. Das ist, was ich rede.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Does this smell like chloroform to you?

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A man rode into town on Friday and stayed a while and then left on Friday how did he manage this?

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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Me: Why are red onions actually purple..? Dad: I don't know Sister: *sarcastic* Well, Why is it rainy in London? Me: ....Because that's the weather pattern.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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A blonde, a brunette and a red head engage in a discussion on World politics. The brunette says she would like to see politicians paying more attention to the environment. The red head says she would like to see improvements in the economy. The blonde says she has to poop.

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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9

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What did Jennifer get in her college exam? She got a C minus

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Why did the plane crash and everybody die on board? The plane crashed because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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*you're

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What does the young boy say to the gay man Hello Jacob, because he was raised to respect and treat gays equally

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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