What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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tee hee

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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Charlotte Bobcats

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A newborn, an infant, a teenager, a person in their 20s, a person in the 40s, a person in their 60s, a person in their 70s, a person in their 80s, and a little old lady who is about 105 walk into a bar. Wait, infants can't walk.

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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Q: What can you never see in the light, but you can in the dark? A: Darkness.

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A minor, her mom, her aunt and a marine went out drinking...they had a fun night

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What did John say to Trojan? Hi Trojan

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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Why did the boy cry? Because he had a frog stapled to his face. Why did the boy cry harder? Because it queefed in the boys mouth.

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Why are you reading this joke? There is this nice 'Bad Idea T-Shirts' ad right there.

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Why did the Romans conquer everyone? They were power-hungry.

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What did the bowl of cereal say? Can I have some milk?

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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What has four legs, and smells when it's wet? A wet dog.

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7

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because the walk sign said to

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay is irrelevant.

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Why did Billy drop his ice-cream? He got stabbed multiple times

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Why did the african jump in the swimming pool? Because it was a really hot day and he wanted to cool down

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops