I think people who go to see a psychiatrist need their head examining.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call Jake Morter? Jake Morter

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you get when you cross a peanut and a snake? peanutsnake

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Doctor: Knock, Knock Woman: Who's there? Doctor: Interrupting Doctor Woman: Interupt- Doctor: You have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Kathy Griffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call it when you kill a Jewish homosexual? Murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

dfasdf sdf ds fds fds f sdf s fs

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the plan crash? Because the pilot was a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the woman start crying? She didn't have woman's rights... That's right, get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Pull my finger. Not right now. I'm watching The Price is Right.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "What'll it be?" The man quietly gazes out at the other people in the bar. He continues to do this for a while, until eventually the bartender calmly taps him on the shoulder to get his attention, and the man turns to look over at him. "What can I get you today?" He asks the man. "What?" the man replies. Turns out he's deaf. Who knew?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown, dirty, and smells like feces? Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you get when you cross a joke and a rhetorical question?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops