Why did the cow jump over the moon ? This is a highly unlikely situation , therefore the cow did not leave its humble pasture , let alone talk english while in the midst of jumping over a planet wich takes days to fly over .

A man is lonely and calls a hooker. She goes to his house, pleasures him, and then demands 42 million dollars. The man shoots the whore and throws her body into a river.

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm a dog.

Your mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvatore Dali mistook them for clocks.

Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

52 Prostitutes in a bar. Challenge Accepted.

Why did the chicken cross the road? chickens are very unintelligent, and often walk around aimlessly with no purpose.

Knock knock.. Whos there? To... To who? To whom.

why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

so your skydiving in the ocean and one of you bedroom windows break. how many bloodstains does it take to paint a peice of bread covered in goat milk? the answer is D. 2731 books on cannabalism

A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

a blond was walking across a river thinking how do I get across. when she saw another blond. and asked how do I get to the other side and the other said your already on the other side.

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

What do you call a black man with cancer? Someone with cancer

Grammer is very important

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

What was the first thing the mother did when her baby was born? Weep. The baby was a was a stillborn.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? monkey see monkey do why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? it lost its footing why did the girl fall down? she was hit by four monkeys and a refridgerator

What's a worse feeling than an upset stomach? Seeing a child getting molested and not saying anything.

What do you call a donkey that can't speak? Whatever you want to call it...I prefer to call it a donkey that can't speak!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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