So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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A drunkard stumbles into the bar. Now he's got thousand's of dollars in medical bills.

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What is the answer to the question of life? Over 9000

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I can't hear music. I am a sentence.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names! *ba dum chzz*

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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Two blondes were driving down the road. The blonde driving looks at her friend in the passenger seat and asks her to see if her blinker is working. So the blonde looks out the window and says, ''Yes. No. Yes. No.''

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How do you fit a whale into a truck bed? You can't, whales live in the ocean.

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once upon a time y o u m a d BIBIBIDYYEAHBIIBAIDYEAH THAT'S ALL FOLKS

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What happens when you divide by zero? According to the limits in Calculus, 1/x as x approaches 0 becomes closer to infinity, so we can safely conclude that if we could divide by zero, it would be a form of infinity. Positive infinity for 1/0, negative infinity for -1/0 and unsigned infinity for 0/0, as zero has no sign.

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A ginger was with his friends

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Random Guy: "Oh god, why was I born with so much common sense?" God: "You must be mistaken, or else you wouldn't be asking me."

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What's funnier than 68? Will ferrel

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Three Jews are hiding under the floorboards. One of them makes and noise and they are promptly found by the invading German soldiers. They are all shipped to Aushwitz where two of them are sent directly to the gas chambers where they are killed. The third Jew survives the Holocaust and is eventually liberated by Allied forces. He returns to his country only to find his house burnt to the ground. With no money or food, he starves to death by the side of the road and his body is eaten by various animals.

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Breast cancer.

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What do you call red eyes in the dark? A high black man

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What do you call a blonde who likes to read? A bookworm.

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Why did the little boy fall of his swing? Some one killed him.

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A farmer had a horse that he rode frequently. He would talk to the horse and tell it it was his closest companion. One day the farmer noticed that the horse was walking funny. So he shot it.

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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What's worse than a bee sting? Getting shot in the head

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Can you answer one question for me? Yes Thank you

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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