Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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what's difference between a pile of dead babies and a car? I don't have a car in my garage.

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So a man walks into a bar, He says, "Hey bartender! Can I have some beer?" The bartender says, "Sure!" and hands the man a Bud Light. The man drinks the Bud Light and leaves afterward.

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A guy walks into a bar and doesn't buy a 12 pack of coke, pepsi is better but he didn't have enough money to buy either.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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Whats Black and White all Over? Ask Your Mother

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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25 kids go into the water. shark in the water. 10 come out. Ice cream man deals with the rest of 'em.

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Q: Whats better than 10 baby's nailed to 1 tree. A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why was the white girl crying? Because she was sad.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Nobody Nobody who?

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How many carrots can you fit in a truck Depends who's driving

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NASA sent a probe to Uranus and wondered why people were laughing.

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Q-What did the hobo get for Christmas? A-Pneumonia.

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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It smells like triangles in here.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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A child is watching Saturday cartoons when is father walks in and, the child is aware that the father was on an all night binge and is verbally abused

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What's the difference between a car and 10 dead babies? I don't have 10 dead babies in my garage.

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Q: what's red, green and goes over 100 miles per hour? A: a frog in a blender

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Today my friend was surprised at the black joke I told today, but I can tell that joke because most of my closest friends are white.

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A man walks into the doctors and he says to the doctor 'my leg hurts when I poke it like this'. The doctor replies 'don't poke it like that then'.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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