Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

what do you call a man with no @ss? d1ckhead

What do you call a black man that sells drugs? A pharmacist.

I died shortly after writing this.

A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

I haven't made a school shooting joke yet, but the day is young Just like those kids that got shot

EVERYBODY THUMB THIS JOKE DOWN

Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure but my guess is that there was some logical reasoning behind the action.

Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

No I do not think that, that would be a wasted thought.

Why did the chicken get hit by a bus? Because he crossed the road

What stands on the corner oof every major city at night? A cop

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because he was dead.

3 guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.

Why did Susy fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Susy.

why did your parents die? because I thought it was funny...

How do you make an anti joke? You ask a question that could have a presumably amusing answer, but make the joke less amusing by stating an obvious answer, therefore completely bamboozling the victim of the anti joke, and making you seem like a man that has a lot of common sense.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I thought I was ugly But then I met you

What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

What do you call a mexican with a broom in his hand? a man who likes to keep his office at his own company clean

Why did Alex die? He choked on a semi truck

What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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