A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

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knock knock. come in.

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While walking along the beach, a man stubs his toe on a half buried lamp. He picks it up, dusts it off, and a enormous Genie appears in front of him. "You have released me from my 10,000 year imprisonment. I will grant you 3 wishes to repay you." says the Genie. The man quickly uses his 1st wish for wealth and the 2nd for the love of a beautiful woman. Unable to think of a 3rd wish and seeing the sunken look on the Genie's face, he wished for the Genie's freedom. The Genie uses his unrestrained powers to kill the man, resurrect Hitler and enslave the human race.

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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A man walks into a bar. I forgot the rest of the story but the punchline goes something something something something your mom is wwhore.

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Why was O.J acquitted for murder? A jury of his peers deliberated for many days and found there was not sufficient evidence for his conviction.

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What do you call an old widow with 12 cats? Forever alone.

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Roses are orange Violets are grey I love penguins Damn Jews

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A dyslexic woman goes into a saloon and asks for a hair cut. Oh right, she doesn't have hair! Then why the f*** would she enter the saloon? Because she wanted to get her nails done. But she doesn't have nails either, and she doesn't want to drink. She came there because she wanted to hook up with a guy!

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What do you call an old man who took too much viagra? And ambulance, because he could possibly get a heart attack from the fluctuations in blood pressure

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There once was a man from Nantucket But then he moved to Boston and changes his name to "man from Boston"

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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How do you make a little girl laugh. You tell her something funny.

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What did the midget get for Christmas? A new watch and a gift card for Applebee's.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a cannibal and like to burn people.

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? Neither did she.

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what's worse than getting a paper cut? Hiroshima

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Have you ever heard of Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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What did the doctor say to the young boy? We only planned on a annual checkup but have discovered that your and aids baby and only have 3 days to live. Tell your family members goodbye you'll be on life support in the next couple hours.

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roses are red violets are blue bannas are yellow so is my wife

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Whats worse than than falling in a puddle on the way to a meeting? Getting shot while your at that meeting.

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What is red and doesnt exist? No-tomato.

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your mama is so greasy she should go take a bath

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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