How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

Why was the little boy upset? An arson set fire to his house, leaving him nowhere to live.

Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

Why did the rabbit cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

What`s red and smells like blue paint? A sunburned baby drinking green paint.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

What's worse than molding bread? Babies in the toaster.

What do you do when a hispanic man takes your wallet? Ask him to please give the wallet back to you

Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

knock knock Come in!!!

Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

John: hey wats up? Bob: gas prices!

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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