- Anti Joke

Two fish are swimming and hit a cement wall. One fish says Dam.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' Cheese

What's the difference between George Michael and a microwave oven? One is a human being and the other is a resourceful appliance.

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

A black man walks into a bar. His parents were immigrants from South Africa.

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

Darude- Sandstorm

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding! Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

What do you get when you cross a parrot and a beach ball? A beach ball with a parrot design on it.

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

Where does Osama bin Laden do his shopping? He doesn't, he's dead.

Jesus was a good guy

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

Your mom walked into a bar and got kicked out cause there's no dogs allowed.

I walked up to my friend who's a drug addict holding a can of coke. I then told said friend that I liked the smell of coke. My friend then went on to snort 27 Kilos of cocaine.

Why was the boy not feeling well? He swallowed a piano.

the little pink lady joke: There once was a little pink lady who lived in a little pink house. One day, she was in her little pink bed when her little pink doorbell rang. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Green live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr White live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. And then her little pink doorbell rings again. So she gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, crosses her little pink room, openes her little pink door, goes down her little pink hallway, goes down her little pink stairs, and to her little pink door. She openes her little pink door, and there is a postman standing on her little pink mat. The postman says: "Does Mr Brown live here?" The little pink lady said: "No." So she closes her little pink door, goes back up her little pink staircase, down her little pink corridor, into her little pink room, takes off her little pink slippers and hops into her little pink bed. Finally, its breakfast time, so the little pink lady gets out of her little pink bed, puts on her little pink slippers, goes out of her little pink room and to her little pink kitchen. Inside, there are 3 men. 2 are eating cheerios, 1 is eating an apple. This proves that cheerios are more popular than apples!

why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

Why couldn't the kitten drink from its water bowl? Its face was stapled to the floor.

Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Oh, then I'm not opening the door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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