hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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You're flying over a lake in your canoe and the wheels fall off. How many pancakes does it take to cover a doghouse? None! because ice-Cream doesn't have legs!

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Knock Knock… Who is there? Orange. Orange Who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana? Actually I really wish you did, because I am Hypokalemic and am about to die you asshole.

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is blue too

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Q. Whats Brow and rhymes with Snoop? A Dr. Dre

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Roses are red Violets are blue Poetry is hard And so is wood

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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A: Knock Knock! B: Who's There? A: I Am...

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irish wristwatch JLR

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What do grass and cows have in common? They both say "moo" except for grass

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What's red and smells like paint? Red paint.

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What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

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How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

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What looks like a chair but isn't? A picture of a chair.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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knock knock Come in!!!

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Ding-Dong.............no knock-knocking required

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Chickens want to live in a world where they arent judged for cossing a road ......... K?

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How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One, but she had a very muscular vagina.

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What did bob order at pizza hut? Pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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