A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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What happens when you mix a black guy and a chinese guy. A disfigured man

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why didn't the blond laugh at the anti-joke? because, she was aborted in her mom's third trimester

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was uneducated and was not aware of the dangers of streets in heavily populated cities.

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DONT READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BYrnTHE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMMOROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOWrnYOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY.rn1. say your name ten times.rn2.say your mom's name five times.rn3. say your crushes three timesrn4. paste this to four other groups.rnIf you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday.rnBut if you read this and do not paste this, then yournwill have very bad luck.rnSEND THIS TO 5 GROUPS IN 143 MINUTES. WHENrnYOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERSrnON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKSrnrnrn

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A middle-class family went away on vacation. While they were gone, a pyromaniac burnt down their house. Their cat was still inside.

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What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

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Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

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Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

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whats worse than being mentally challenged? losing your arms and legs and finding out that you have cancer

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What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

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A Black Man Walks Into A Club.

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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Why did the n i g g e r steal money? because he was black! and wanted a KFC thanksgiving! :)

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Trees are red, Bushes are red, HOLY SHIT MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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What's black and white and red all over it? Not a newspaper because red is not all over it. Answers to this question may vary.

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whats thin, long and hard? A: a pen is

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An Englishmen, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar, and ordered a beer. They later went home and slept. They woke up the next morning with a slight hangover.

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How do you know if there is an elephant in your fridge? Well, because there's an elephant in your fridge.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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