What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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What Did batman say to robin before they got in the car..... Get in the car

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jwe

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Why do women wear perfume and makeup? Because they smell bad and are ugly.

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?u?? ????? ????? '?? p??? o? u?op ?p?sdn s??? p?dd??? no? ??

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Why do animals on the side of the road stink? Well they don't, you just think they do when in reality all it is, is there insides rottening From prevous days of exposen of the air now as far as I know all the little baby squrriel Wanted was it get his nuts in the road and it bring back to his starving family counting on him to bring Food to the tree next thing you know a soccer mom's van ran the poor baby squirrel over. Now me knowing this squirrel myself (don't ask me how) he wanted to go out in style you know get ran over by a mustang or a lambo not some bitch ass mini van with sliding doors and a dvd player convinit for the kids to watch spongebob.... man I bet that squrriel was pissed!

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong number. He calls the right number.

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You have cancer

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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A black man and a mexican are in a car. Who is driving? The black man.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What kind of cheese doEs god like? Swiss cheese because it's holy!

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why was 6 afraid of 7?

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Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Monkey see, monkey do.

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Student; Miss, please may I go toilet? Teacher; Yes, but say your alphabet first. Student; Ok

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What's the difference between vanilla ice cream and vanilla ice cream with chocolate chips? Neither one has vanilla ice cream in it except for both of them.

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How are bananas and friends alike? If you peel their skin and eat them

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Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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Why can't vegetarians eat mushrooms because I can't urinate over a scotch bonnet :/

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Jamie stegman is a masive idiot and does not have a life at all he is a tool which is true becuase no one likes him

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When is the best time to eat? When you feel like it.

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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