Why don't you play uno with Mexicans? Because they collect all the green cards.

Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

What happens when two jews meet in the bus ? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not worth telling a joke about that.

wanna hear a joke? women rights. -ZombieUr

Theres this guy that got pulled over and the guy in the car said: I have AIDS the cop said: Oh, really when did you get them? I don't have AIDS

What do you call a black man in a Police car? A Police Officer

My dog has no nose! Then how does he smell? Terrible!

What did the hat say to the other hat? Nothing, because hats don't talk, stupid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, due to the lack of details, there could be many reasons, such as the possibility that there was a cornfield on the other side, he got scared by a loud noise behind him and ran across the street, or just plain old curiosity, but whatever it may be, right now, we do not know the cause.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

Why did the man fall from the sky? Because he was dead.

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

If you have 5 dollars, and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, you are both very poor.

why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is your mom

What do you call it when someone walks on another person's head? It depends. Face up, fetish. Face down, hate crime.

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite.

So snoop dog drank some milk! :)

Whats worse than eating a worm? Haveing a worm die in your penis.

Why didn't the woman cook dinner for her husband? She had to work late.

What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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