A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is a highly unlikely circumstance due to the fact that there are no wild chickens and most chicken coops are nowhere near a road

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why does an elephant have flat feet? A: From jumping out of trees

thumb_up thumb_down +8

yo mamas so cruchy people might mistake her for a cheeto!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

banana

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Who's there Ted Bundy

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You're*

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What kind of car does Yoda drive? Nothing, Yoda doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats green and falls from trees, pool tables.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man in the desert? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the 2-year-old girl found dead in the swamp? Her mom was Casey Anthony.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the business man ever wear pants? He didn't have any legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What does a blonde and beer bottles have in common? A. Nothing. Blonde is a hair color and beer bottles are inanimate objects used to contain various brands of beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Youve got to spell the name right you dead dylan fuck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A straight A star quarterback in his senior year of high school was about to throw the game winning pass in his season's last game and complete the school's undefeated record when he was sacked by a defender. He fell incorrectly and broke both of his legs, rendering all of his scholarships invalid. He hasn't walked since.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

a little boy takes his lacrosse stick to his mom and says "hey mom this is bob" the mom says "hi bob" and she says to her son "does bob say hi back?" and the boy says "no mom. hes a lacrosse stick."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Pff, "Axel", you are a fucking amateur, I can convey your fucking message in two lines, and one and a half of those lines would be fucking swearing and insults. I am done with the fucking underground society, it used to be a great place for people to discuss real world matters rather than be blinded by the fucking lies of the media, and yes religion, if you ever worked for me, you know that the fucking bible is a textbook example of every goddamn brain washing technique there is. But if you where ever my allumni, id expect you to use those methods sparringly and only when neccesary. No wonder people consider you a fucking cultist, you use your fucking methods as smoke and mirrors rather than letting "your people" know, and teach them that you just use a bunch of verbal tricks. Mental-ism is not magic, and neither should it be implied to be part of the surreal, while I respect your ideology, you have misused it to acquire power and wealth from those you claim to protect, and while you do convey some good ideals, you are far too arrogant and ignorant for the role you have given yourself. Besides, even if you could protect "your people" as you claim you can, who the fuck is supposed to protect the rest from them?! That is some hard core methods you are abusing "Axel", and you know it, if you claim to be anti religion, then stop using the very same methods they do without teaching people how the methods work first! Moral: Never underestimate me, I enjoy behaving like a jackass, but it does not mean that I am one, as for you, you are a jackass which likes behaving like someone worthy of respect. I am still at the fucking hospital, so if you want some guidelines, speak here, and if you cant send me your contact information so we can chat on a proper phone, I will only have to assume that you are either a coward for not revealing your location to an obviously superior man ...Or... ...that... ...you... Are a fucking coward little bitch that simply keeps on hiding behind the people he claims to protect and shield! Start by admitting that I am far beyond your puny knowledge, and I might throw in a few lines of assistance. Moral 2: You are fucking using horse head network as we speak! I use it for bullshit and "iron manning", you shame the remains of the underground society for using it as means of "encoded messages" and at all!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where do five gay guys walk? Where ever they want to. This is a free country, where people are free to travel as the please, no matter what their sexual orientation may be

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was the girl sleeping on the ground? because she was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops