- Anti Joke

Why was the human stronger than the dog? Because the dog had four legs and a mouth and a human has 2 legs, 2 arms, and is taller. Therefore, the human has more capabilites than the dog.

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

can i have 10 pounds to go to the cinema?

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves.

My mom always said it was fun to jump into a pile of leaves... That was before she was devoured by a 10 ft. scorpion.

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there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

redtube

How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None

Five Mexicans were driving down the motorway in a Ford. Must've been a Fiesta.

Donald Trump

What did the woman get for Christmas? Cooking oil and a black eye.

Chad Wolbert is retarded.

How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

How do you stop the baby from touching the stove? Cut of its arms.

SUBway eat fresh ZOMbies eat fleash

Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

I had sex with my mother in law

Women's rights

An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because while he was swinging, his friends dared him to jump off and called him a chicken when he didn't. Still hesitant, he tried to jump off, but his arm caught on the swing chain and he fell face first into the tanbark. He needs reconstructive surgery to repair his face.

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman walk into a bar and the barman asks "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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