"life is like a box of chocolates", except you cant eat life and hocolate doesnt rain on you.

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donald................duck for president

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What do you call a muslim who is not a terrorist ? A muslim

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What's worse, a dog dying or cancer? The Holocaust.

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How do you know this is an Antijoke? Its on anti-joke.com

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hey John will you make some copies

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There was a man sinking in quick sand. He looked in the sky and said, "God, if you spare my life, I'll be a great person and believe in you all my life." He died.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? An Xbox 360.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. She's already been told twice.

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A biology teacher walks into a bar. "Ouch," he says. "I bet I just lost some brain cells. I wonder if any of them were going through mitosis..."

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables.

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roses are red violets are blue you know what? im sick and tired of this joke.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Actually it is,how may i help you?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The third one is for you

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Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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How do you keep a black man out of your back yard? Tell him to go away.

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Two Poles are walking down the street. One says "Look out, I think that's dog shit." The other man thanks him and avoids the excrement.

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tee hee

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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I was watching this movie..... its over now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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