Roses are red Violets are astronaut This joke didn't make sense I'll kill u with a rake

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Knock, Knock Who's There? (Silence) Wondering who was there, the man opened the door, to find a baby in a basket in front of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Where was Andy Beckett WHEN THE LIGHTS WENT OUT? In the dark

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a man with a spade in his head? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

24

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why did the white man go to jail? He broke the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I've got a shotgun with two bullets. I've got two enemies. What do I do with the gun? I go bird hunting. Kelvin Yang

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Sac

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. Question is, how did they get in there?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

SOPA gets passed and shuts down anti-joke because KFC claims the picture of the anti-joke chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the scientist call a spider? An arachnid.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Justin Bieber is a good singer.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Four blonds are driving to Disney World when they come across a sign that says Disney World left... So they take the left and enjoy themselves at the place many considered the most wonderful place in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A guy walks into a toilet store and there are 3 left 1is silver 1 is wood and 1 talks he took the one that talks. the next day he is shitting and he hears the toilet "do you see what i see

thumb_up thumb_down +26

The king has three daughters. One day, one of the daughters comes into his room and asks, "Father, why is my name Rose?" King replies,"well, a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby." The next day, the second daughter comes into his room and asks,"Father, why is my name Tulip?" the king replies,"A tulip fell on your head when you were a bay." On the next day, the final daughter comes in and says, "BLAJSFUAGHASRAKKKKKK." The king says,"Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +26

why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops