What do you call four friends spending a wild night in Las Vegas that they can't rember the next day? A rip off of the Hangover

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why did sally fall off the swing? because she was a fish.

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Come on, I am trying to cheer you up a bit, honestly how high?

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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Why was the man waiting at the bus stop? He was on his way to work

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Beacuse it was dead.

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What did the baby say to it's mother as it was being thrown in the trash bin? Nothing, it couldn't talk yet.

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What do you say if you see your TV floating in the middle of the night? Wow, I need to lighten up on the acid.

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How did the two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for half an hr? They didn't and they died.

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

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Knock Knock Who's there? I said who's there? The man opens the door to find there was no one there and begins to shake in fear as his schizophrenia is getting worse.

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Why are all Asians smart? Not all of them are, Asians are stereotypically smart because their parents most likely grew up in an under-developed country and want their children to be successful because they don't want their children to experience what they did.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some dreams stay dreams, But some dreams come true. Some want to be god, They want to have made us. But I want to be an astronaught, So I can explore Uranus.

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Why did the boy drowned Bc he couldn't swim

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Chuck Norris didn't count to infinite twice. He can't even do it once.

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A horse walks into a bar... The bartender is amazed at the fact that an animal that possesses neither the mental nor the physical abilities to open doors, still managed to enter the bar without breaking anything.

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I nicknamed my diick "the truth" because the biitches can't handle it

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Why did the man destroy his piano? He may have been frustrated with himself for making mistakes during practice.

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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What is the hardest part about rollerblading? Most commonly the balance part.

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So a guy walks into a bar. It hurt really bad. He was pissed, so he went home and took his seal to a club.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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