Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It had died.

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what has small feet? a human being with a tiny proximity of feet matter.

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What is blue, around 30 cm long and makes women cry? Crib death!

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What is brown and has 15 legs? (They answer "What?") Reply: I don't know I was hoping you would.

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Blake wilkeys hair style

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of its personal life.

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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Your mother is so fat that when she steps on a scale it shows her a weight that she is not very satisfied with

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Do you like cats? You gotta be kitten me.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They had several drinks, conversed animatedly, and heartily enjoyed themselves.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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*Phone rings* Hello? Hi, is your refrigerator running? No, it actually broke down yesterday. Are you the repair man? Yes, the repairs will cost $400

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When will racism end? When everyone's dead.

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How do you kill half of Mexico? You use nuclear weapons in major cities.

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Directions- I would be lost without you. Thank you for always being there for me.

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The class valedictorian is about to give his speech to the class. He has 6 fingers total, he is missing an ear, his left nostril is burned shut, and he must walk on crutches because of the severe injury to his left knee. How does the extremely cruel Principal of the school introduce him? "Please welcome Gregory Barnes, a brave soul that conquered a battle against death itself an won".

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your mommas so fat because she has diabetes

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hi will

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What do you call a black priest? Someone devoted to the word of god

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What does 2 + 2 equal? 4

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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What is brown and sticky? Syrup.

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I really might try and kill myself when I get home tonight.

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What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops