If you are floating down main street in a canoe and your front right propeller falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones

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What's clear and wet? water

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Boy: If you didn't have feet, would you wear socks? Girl: No. Boy: Then why do you wear a bra?

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What did the mexican say to the black guy? He asked if he needed some drugs. Why? He was a pharmacist.

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Q. Why did the woman fall out of the tree? A. Cause she got laid

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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If you go to an animal shelter to get a pet god, you may be dyslexic.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

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I am nobody Nobody is perfect Therefore, I am perfect

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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Jerry: Hey, do you smell that? It kinda smells like updog. Moe: What's updog?

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My grandmother always said "slow and steady wins the race."...... She died in a fire

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Roses are red. Violets blue i do fuck people. MAYBE u too?

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Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H20" and the second one says, "I'll have some H20 too." The second scientist dies after drinking hydrogen peroxide.

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Looking for propane accessories? Well look no more!

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Why did the Mexican choose the blue marker over the green one? Because he his favorite color was green, and it was Opposite Day.

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Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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I want to stick ma dick in a big bowl o puddin'

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops