I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Are you Drew?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the surfer surf in the ocean without a surfboard? Either he was mentally challenged, simply dreaming, a fish, or most likely did not have a surfboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

row row row your boat gently down the stream rape

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. I'm not sure, because there are many farmers on this earth, and finding the same one that you are talking about, may be hard. It may take a while, but i'll get back to you as soon as possible, with an anwser.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has two legs, takes away your money, and causes depression? A Democrat.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Haikus are awesome, but sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the farmer say when he lost his truck? Wheres my truck?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

every 60 seconds in africa a minute passes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between a water melon and a baby? One's fun to hit with a sledge hammer, the other's just a water melon.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where do snowmen keep their money? Snowmen don't have money

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the best way to pick up girls? Lift with your legs, not your back.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man keeping specific track of time,eagerly waits for a punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your mom is so fat, it is unlikely that she will be able to survive the month without experimental liposuction and heart surgery, and even then her outlook is bleak. I am so sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a blonde with big breasts? A woman. Some call her "mom".

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did johnny say when he fell down the stairs? Nothing he snapped his neck

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Blarg, with ritalin everything tastes like cardboard, but on the bright side I can taste, lucky me I am so handsome the ones that attacked us did not want to ruin "my pretty face", so I just got a few cuts before I broke his, they never see a steel fist arriving you know... Listen, you are wrong, you gotta think less about me, and much more about yourself, you feel like you should worry more about me emotionally, but worry about your feelings more despite that because I can more or less hear your body saying "please take care of me", I mean I can more or less hear the urges and needs of women, thats why I am so good around them, I dont put them in a trance "vampire style" i just make them feel safe around me because it is safe around me, I am safe at all times because I am who I am. Listen, worry about your needs, turn of all mental alarms, I can sense (I dont know how, Richard Bandler put that into me) that you are in lack of sleep, food and sleep (I can sense it now, you havent slept well since you thought I was dead, it makes logical sense, it always does, its not magic, its the human potential unleashed) So take care of yourself, turn of your body`s needs one by one, shower, eat, drink (eat something good), and if you are at the couch, go get a pillow and lie down, this is about you, because I cant feel well if those I love and care about dont feel well okay? Please allow me to sleep easily and try getting some sleep yourself even if my guys are 15 minutes away. Let me know that you feel better.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: whats a bunny's favorite music genre A: smooth jazz

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops