Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A guy walks into a bar, but a metal bar, he hurts his head, he goes to the hospital to get an x-ray, Turns out he hard a brain tumor, He died the next day,

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What happens if you confuse your male best friend's and your boyfriend's name during sex? Nothing, their both named Adam.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's blue and says "Good morning" A blue sign that says good morning

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I'M THE GRAPIST!! I'M GONNA GRAPE UR MOM AND UR DAD AND UR WHOLE FAMILY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

thumb_up thumb_down +22

So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a dolphin that drives a Mercedes Benz? Nothing. Dolphins can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

hey i just met you.... and this might just sound crazy but i have a bad case of short term memory .....were we talking????

thumb_up thumb_down +22

toast points

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black man who flies a plane? A Pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a blonde, a brunette and a red head are robbing a bank, they hear the police coming, so they try to find a place to hide. The red head hides in cat cage, the brunette hides in dog cage and the blonde hides in potatoe sack. When the police come the brunetter says "Woof, Woof!" the red head says "MEOW! MEOW!" and the blonde says "P-O-T-A-T-O-E!"

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the football coach say to fire up his team? Nothing. He was not legally allowed to say anything to his team as they were being locked out by the coach's boss, the owner of the team and anything that he said to them could lose him his job.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

yolo mother f-uckaaaa

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: What's worse than a dead baby? A: A dead baby with diarrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A guy walks into a bar what does he say? OW.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Fine, Nero7 made sure I got to a safe place at least. My code is "Eliza", that is all, please provide me with whatever information you can regarding what happened, and while I read you are not shy of graphical detail, I ask that you keep it lightly, Nero7 meant much to me, please. -"Veronica.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's the best part of having sex with a twelve year old? Watching them cry when they prosecute against you.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Roses are red Violets are tits I like tits Tits

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops