what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

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Knock knock Who's there? I Love You! -Harrison

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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How do you drown a blond? By being an insane murderer!

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A horse walks into a bar and doesnt order a drink. Because he cant.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven was a terrorist.

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Where's Waldo? It is impractical to search for him because he's just going to get lost on another page once you find him. You assume he was murdered and get on with your life.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Well...not really no. It's not.

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One day, a mother was speaking with her daughters. "Mommy," the first one said, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we brought you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second daughter said, "Why did you name me Rose?" ""Because when we brought you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMBWWAAAAGGGH!" the last daughter cried. She was born with severe special needs and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What did the kind hearted wolf do when he saw the small, helpless, fluffy bunny? He ate it.

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Whats worse than having aids...... Being in school

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This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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roses are red violets are blue my poems mite be ugly and so are u

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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They say that laughter is the key to a long life. What's the key to a short life? Death.

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I like my coffee like I like my women..... Without Hepatitis.

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-Knock Knock -Come in!

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This would be racist to black people if they could read.

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Why did the soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple-sized tumor in your colon

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Why did the moogle cross the road? Kupo kupo kupopo!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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