So a guy walks into a bar. He asks the woman next to him, ''Can I buy you a drink?'' The woman says,''No thank you.''

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There's a car about to hit me.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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What's black and bleeding? Who cares?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck at poetry, show me your tits!

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He lacked the required muscular, integumentary, and nervous systems required to do so (among other essential bodily systems).

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I saw a woman get donkey punched in the middle of the street. Nero the clit collector: You know... What is it called when A donkey kinda lifts its front hoove and hits a woman? ...WHAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE STARVE TO DEATH BECAUSE OF YOUR COIN COLLECTION? YOUR STAMPS ARE MURDER! (or something) At least my uh... "Friends" survive... SOMETIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!! ...And then I kill them.

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What did the president say after his wife and kids left Him? Im Obama self now

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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What do you call a black man inside a house that is on fire? A fire fighter as well as a hero since he was probably inside the house searching for anyone who was trapped inside

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What is another way to call a procrastinator? Avery annoyed and bored child who does not want to do her homework and is looking up many different anti-jokes for a laugh. You know who you are...

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Why did the little kid color outside the lines? He had Parkinson's Disease.

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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How do you make a plumber sad? Steal his plums.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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fack me in the ace! CC

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What is the difference between a black man and a speed bump? A black man is a living thing and a speed bump is not.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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What do fat kids and whales have in common? Ruth burden

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Roses are 3:18 Violets are 3:18 I Just figured out a pattern. And saved peoples lives with the help of Keifer Sutherland.

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pickle sniffer

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i dont know why but when ever i see jew they always say "whats up?"

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Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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