How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

kieran scott has a huge back

Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

They see me rolling' Up my sleeves for some volunteer work at the local shelter

EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

If there are 3 apples, and Johnny takes away 3 of them, how many apples does Johnny have? None, because Johnny got hit by a train.

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

Roses are red Violates are blue Go to hell I hate you

What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town? Look, here comes Tarzan! What do the villagers say when they see Tarzan swinging into town with sunglasses on? Nothing. They don't recognize him.

Why did the drunk walk into the bar? Because he has a serious drinking problem.

women's rights.

I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump! I won the battle but lost the war: I'm Donald Trump!

you know whats not funny? the Holocaust

Why did the italian go to jail? because he had just robbed a bank and then brutally murdered his wife and kids.

How much does a polar bear weight? The average male polar bear weights about 1500 lbs (680 kg)

Want to hear a dirty joke? A horse fell in the mud.

What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

How old is your mom? Old.

Why did the man fall over...he had a stroke!

How do you get a pirate out of your seat? Politely ask him to move for you were there first.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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