Where do 4 Mexicans in a car go? In the Car Pool lane.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen

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Why couldn't Jim pogo-stick? He didn't have one.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your landlord. Get the hell out.

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Whats long, hard, and has cum in it? Cucumber

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u jelly?

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What did T Pain say to the skipper of his yacht? I'm on a yacht

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What did the blind boy get for Christmas? The same toys from last year.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. Ok.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders 4 shots. The bartender promptly pulls out a gun and shoots him 4 times.

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What did the white doctor say to the black doctor? We both went to medical school.

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You know what is really annoying? An annoying baby that wont stop crying while you are trying to do very important work.

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If a tree falls in a neigheorohood lots of people hear it.

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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There once was a squirrel. He lost his nuts.

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Once I asked a Chinese girl , how do I look ? . She said you Europeans all look the same .

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why was the boy dad? Because he was taken advantage of by an older woman during ovulation and impregnated her.

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How do you stop a second date from happenin? You force a dead mouse in your date's vagina.

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WNBA

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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