A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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What did Mr. Pazdzioch and Mr. Hahn and Mr. Fishers big ass do for fun? Ate Mr. Kilgores shit at shin-go-beek jamboree.

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What did the monkey say to the Pope and the Queen? Good evening, Your Holiness. Good evening, Your Majesty,

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i homeless man asked for ome change. he didnt get any because people were afraid he would spend it on drugs

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? we are both lawyers

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Why is Santa's sack so big? He has a malignant tumour on his testicle. We're all very worried about him.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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what's the difference between a dog and a sheep? one's a dog and the other isn't.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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how do you make a plummer cry? you spell PLUMBER wrong

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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Q: What did Nala say to Simba during the stampede? A: Nothing. She was nowhere to be found during that scene.

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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whats worse than walking in to the doctors office and he says you got aids heaps of stuff can be worse but haha you got aids

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Why did Thomas miss school? Because he was sick

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wat is osama bin ladin's favorite sport grenade catch

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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