Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

E M I L Y L Y N C H B I L L I E J E A N L A R K I N YEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

what's red and has seven feet? the red man who had seven feet as a result of a serious genetic mutation

How many midgets does it take to change a light bulb? If you do the math, it's probably one.

What is funny about civil and women's rights? Nothing, they are very serious matters.

What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

Q: You know what never gets old? A: The kids in a school shooting

why didnt jane scream when she got robbed? Because she got shot.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A park bench can support a family.

Q.How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb A.Babies are to young to screw in lightbulbs

A black man, Jew and a Mexican go camping. A bear wanders into their campsite, but upon seeing them runs away because it's afraid of humans.

A boy and his dad are in bed and his dad is telling him a story. And the cow told the farmer to get out of the bar. Now, what did the farmer say? Holy shit a talking cow!

What is that smell? I don't know. I'm color blind.

What's worse than being hit with a falling brick? Being hit with many falling bricks. -ilikecrepes97

A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

Me: Wanna play a game of red light and as I get closer to you, you get to call red light?? girl: Yea! okay, go! girl: green light!! Me: Sorry, firetrucks don't stop for red lights

What is red and green and goes 50mph? A frog in a blender.

Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

Imagine yourself in a box with no windows and no doors. How do you get out? Stop imagining.

What do you call a black man that is on fire? A Man on Fire. The fact that he is black has no relevance in this situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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