- Anti Joke

A kid asks his mom: "Mom, what would I be when I grow up?" And so his mother answers: "You won't grow up, you have cancer"

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

i love weed i fuc king really do i fuc king love smoking weed with you.And i love a fat spliff and i love a fat bong why cant we all just sing along!!!

Q) What did the farmer say who'd lost his tractor? A) Where's my tractor?

Knock Knock. Who's there? ...(No answer)

What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

Why do black people like fried chicken? Because it's delicous.

Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead.

Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

How many infants does it take to paint a house? Forty-Seven.

Most people like to drink beer, others do not.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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Hey guess whats funny? Matthew Mcconaughey Oh wait, never mind

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

How do you find your way out of the impossible maze? You don't.

how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

Why did the little girls ice cream melt? Because she was on fire.

What do you call a black man a asian man and a mexican man? 3 people

How many pancakes does it take to make a dog house? Purple because, ice-cream has no bones.

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.