A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

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how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

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Life is like the Titanic. You cruise along on course and everything is great -- until you hit an iceberg and 1,517 people die.

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Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

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What is white and shaped like a refrigerator? A refrigerator.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

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Did you hear about the guy that had his entire left side cut off? He's all right now. Dead but all right.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman.

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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What's wet and pink? Bubblegum!

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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What did Zeus say to Hades? Nothing. Both are mythological beings created by the Greek civilization to explain why many things in the world happened, mostly because of a lack of modern science.

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Whats worse than driving a Ford Taurus? Driving two Ford Taurus'

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What is pink and smells like tuna? Salmon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops