What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

A man was walking down the sidewalk. Then he turned into a drugstore.

Why did the man ask the IPhone to marry him He was smoking weed

How are this and that alike? They aren't.

what did the red rock say to the blue rock? Nothing. Rocks can't talk.

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

What's big long, harry, and has glowing eyes? I dont know. Its under my bed. PLEASE SEND HELP!!!

What did the coworker say about the new girls butt Nothing be cause he was quite the gentleman and wanted to be respectful ts the woman as she already had enough problems such as being hit by a bus and dying.

A women was driving along in her brand new, swanky, red ferrari when she spotted a red light in the distance. She stopped steadily, following the rules of the road. All of a sudden a loud bang came from behind her where a young driver had hit her at 50 mph. They both come to an abrupt stop and exited their vehicles. The women says "Idiot, you just hit me!" The boys says "oh don't worry, I have insurance."

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

Bob loves Anne. Anne loves Bob. No one cares.

Whats the difference between a man and a cat. There both different species.

What do you call a white sheep with no legs? A cloud What do you call a black sheep with no legs? A shit.

It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

Why did the blond have a wierd look on her face? Because she was ugly

Why was the girl crying? Because I raped her

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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