why did the dead baby cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

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Once, a woman told her son to be a peach and fetch some sugar. Little did she know that a genie heard her. The next day, she was horrified to find her son gone and a peach in his bed.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding herpes in your apple.

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what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

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what do call a car full of people on the side of the road? a cool explosion waiting to happen

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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troll lololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.olo90ololol.o.ool.olololol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.ol.o.o.lol.ol.ol.ol.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[Insert anti-joke here]

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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i like turtles

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What's windy and sunny at the same time? The weather.

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What the difference between a circle and a triangle? You're an idiot if you don't know the difference.

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An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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CJISTHEBEST Sticks and stones may break my bones because i have osteoperosis.

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How did the fat man die? He was fed porrage until he died. Who killed the fat man? Leonardo DaVici How did Leonardo Da Vinci die? Natural causes (Actually I have no idea how Leonardo Da Vici died but if I am wrong please correct me) Thank You for your coperation.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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What did the toy cowboy say to the man? Nothing, toys can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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