- Anti Joke

there are two muffins in an oven one muffin says "whoa, its hot in here!" the other says nothing, because it is a muffin, and the other muffin, in reality, said nothing either.

why was the teenage girl crying? She was molested as a child

A man walks into a shop and picks up some items for his party. He walks out of the shop without paying for the items. The police are promptly called and the man receives a 4 year sentence in prison for shoplifting.

A hard-working man, in his early forties with slightly graying hair, arrives to work earlier every day. He values integrity and dedication. His loving wife is proud of his accomplishments and her favorite part of the day is when he arrives home from a day at the office. He is close friends with the Director of HR, because he believes that we all should be respected and treated fairly on the job. Today, there is a board meeting, which he prepared for extensively, because he cares deeply about what happens to this great company. His boss greets him after the meeting is done and says, "Great job, that presentation was even better than yours usually are." It was a very long meeting, so they both end up going to the Men's Room. What does he say when his boss corners him near the urinals and demands sex? Nothing. He doesn't like to talk during sex.

knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

Whats luckier than finding a lucky penny? winning the lottery.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the dead one.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

Three guys walk into a bar: a Priest, a rapist, and a pedophile...and two other guys

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? ...Because he was buried in a churchyard.

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "You already had me chained to the bed. You didn't have to break both of my legs, Kathy Bates."

Knock knock, Who's there? Justin Bieber, LEAVE!

Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. On its way there, he got hit by a bus.

What did Robin say to Batman before they entered the Batmobile? "Batman, I'm a necropheliac."

Why was Billy's grandma not around for Thanksgiving? Because she's dead

what did the black guy ge for christmas? a speeding ticket

Joey: hey bobby who you talking to? Bobby: oh yeah I forgot to tell you your mom died.

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

Why didn't the 1 month old chicken cross the road? Because by that time it's already a Mcnugget.

Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.