How do you cut the sea in half? You can't. There are an odd amount of letters. You would have to jeopardize the "e", but then it would no longer be "sea".

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How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

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Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

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A horse walks in to a bar. The barman says: "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse and can neither speak nor understand English. The horse is startled by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables on it's way out.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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KCLTLMBAIMWSSHTCAWGAHW

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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There's a study that the population of Americans are very high in America.

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

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How was my day, you ask? First of all, I don't own a day. And second of all, it hasn't ended.

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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How do you make a dog say meow? Freeze it and put it through a woodchipper. (MEROWRRRR)

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Many of people would like to know this question. We have not invented a mind reading device and chickens can't communicate with humans. So no one knows

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? I don't know. I'm paralyzed.

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What would you do for a Klondike bar? Pay a reasonable sum of money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops