How many retards does it take to screw in a lightbulb? No number of them could figure it out. They sit in the dark for hours, scared of the monsters.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Why did the dinosaur rent a DVD in Redbox about a sex? Because he didn't own a Blu-Ray player.

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Why did the Asian student do well in school? Because he worked hard and studied everyday

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Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

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When is a door not a door? When it is thrown away. Then, it will likely decompose in a landfill or be recycled into another product. In either case, it will no longer be a door.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Stolen cheese

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"knock knock" "who's there" *no answer* Opens door to find dead wife lying on doorstep with 'lol' stamped on forehead

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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there once was a frog with no leggs

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was food on the other side

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your mum is dead, Just fucking with you! Kelvin Yang.

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Dead girls can't say no.

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A man walks into a bar and the barman says "Why the long face?" And the man replies "I am severely deformed".

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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Gay people: "Quit calling Justin Bieber gay, we don't want him either."

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How did the black man fall of the cliff? He was gazing over and realized he had Prostate cancer and fell off the cliif.

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Roses are yellow, Violets are purple, im not color blind you just cant read.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops