Q.What's green and smells like grass??? A. Grass

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats black, dead, and hangs from a tree in my backyard? Your Mom

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why couldn't the little girl see in the dark? She had no eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How old are you like 10? Im 11 so shut the fuck up

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Grandma used to say "you only die once." Years later, I learned the wisdom behind those words.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the chocolate milk say? Yoo-hoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

what doesn't kill you makes you crippled for life because you lost use of your legs in a tragic car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +19

The scientists of Cambridge have finally developed a cure for feeling low! They have presented it in the style of a song. See if you can spot the hidden frequency wavelengths when you sing it out lout. They are what make you feel better. You've got to LOVE the world! Be a friend! And when You're down you've got to get up again! And when your blue, here's what you do. Just sing this happy tune! However if that fails, then you should consider getting professional help.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q:What did the deaf kid say to the blind kid? A: nothing deaf kids can't talk they can only have conversations with their hands,which would be pretty useless at this moment cause the blind kid can't see his hand guestures

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Roses are red Violets are blue Some roses are white 72.4% of Americans are too

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why does Derrek Ashmore act so feminine on his facebook statuses? Because he has a vagina so it is appropriate for him

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where was the declaration of independes? At the bottom

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How come Dorothy couldn't feel her legs? The metal cable snapped.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

There was a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato. They were walking and baby tomato starts lagging behind. So the papa tomato stomps on the baby tomato and says nothing because tomatoes can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops