What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Mom now that I am fourteen can I get a bra now? No Harold!

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra drinks a bear and leafs .....

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Q-Why did the little boy feel hot? A-Because he faceplanted into a bonfire.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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Why is the dog in the driver seat? Why is there birds making you filet mignon? Why is your toe blue? I don't know the answer. Go talk to your doctor

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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What do you call a middle-aged Polish man on Skype? A lonely man.

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What's the difference between a bowling ball and a sorority girl? You could always eat the bowling ball if you really had to.

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What's green, has four legs and falls from trees? A praying mantis that lost a battle and had it's frongt two legs removed causing it to lose balance and gripand plumet groundward from the tree.

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Why didn't the octopus have any friends? Because they are antisocial creatures by nature. -Louis

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Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee gettiing bigger and bigger and bigger.." Then it hits me.

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Where did little Timmy go when the bomb dropped? Everywhere.

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What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

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An ant tries to climb and sit on a tube. It couldn't. Do you get it? … I don't either.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

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What were the murderer's last words before he was put to death by electric chair? "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNFHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.................................................................................................................." He then defecated in his pants.

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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