A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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Q: Whats the difference between me and a ghost? A: Ghosts arnt dolphins!

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HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

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Sidney Crosby comes face-to-face with Alex Ovechkin. The Penguins were playing the Capitals.

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How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

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Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

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Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Q: What's worse than having a terrorist throw a fridge at you? A: World War 5

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?" The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?" The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?" The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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Have you heard the one of the two headed man an the horse? Neither have I

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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thomas the train walked up to an old man and said nothing. mostly because trains cant walk, and they cant talk.

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i know a guy called ryan he is a benny he has a combover

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Once upon a time, Ducks THE END

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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What sport do all black people like? This is impossible to answer because not all black people like the same sport.

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Why does Matt Daly do in his free time? it involves his finger and his own buttwhole

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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A blonde keeps walking down her driveway to her mailbox.Finally, her neighbor asks, "Why?" The blonde replies, "The computer says I've got mail."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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