What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

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Fact: Nine out of ten Americans believe that out of ten people one will always disagree with the other nine.

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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Jimmy Saville

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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When I was in 4th grade, I was fat. The other kids would take my lunch and spit in all the food, then give it back. Teachers started to wonder why I wasn't eating, and soon began to ask me if I was anorexic. I replied, "do I look anorexic!?" I'm now 6 foot 3 and weigh 56 pounds. *FUN FACT: based on a heartwarming true story.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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What did the kid with no legs get for Christmas? A new pair of shoes

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What is the difference between Acenaphthoquinone and Acetoguanamine? I don't know...

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

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So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

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Why do elephant tusks stick out? For uprooting trees and bushes, and for defending their young.

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richard is fag

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A black man, a Mexican man, a Jew, an Asian man, and a white man get into a fight. Who won? Well since their dispute got all the way to a fight, I guess nobody really wins.

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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Why did the cow hail a taxi? Because cows can't drive.

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What did the duck say to the Pope? Quack.

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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