What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A jew is a human being who will understand and laugh at a joke, while a pizza will just sit there because it is only a delicious thing that people eat.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs? numerous abusive terms as you kickk him to death.

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If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

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Guess what What

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Is this the Krusty Crab? Yes.

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Did you hear the one about the flying turtle? No? Okay I'll tell you about it. So one day there was a flying turtle. His name was Larry and he was a turtle that can fly. However, nobody believed that Larry can fly and he wanted to prove it. So the next day George, who was a flying octopus, called Jerry on his cell phone and told him a story about a Larry. Jerry, who was a media reporter, was so offended by his story and called the police. Question: What did the police say? Nothing because it was a made up story

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Why can cats jump so high? Cats leg muscles are different then ours. They work kind of like springs that build up energy and then release suddenly. Its kind of like a budgie cord. This gives them the ability to jump so high. If humans were built the same way, they could easily jump up on a one-story roof.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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A redhead and a blonde both go out to smoke a cigarette. They are both at risk of lung cancer.

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What state is high in the middle and round on both ends? Onorth Chiarolinao

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What do you call a big house full of dead people? My family

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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Repeat after me: Silk, Silk, Silk, What's the square root of 465?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

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EVERYBODY has a penis!!! Everybody!!!!

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If the goverment wants us to be eco friendly then why are the eco friendly cars so expensive?

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What did the black man get for Christmas? Presents

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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If you're happy and you know it get a life

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What did the sea say to the penguin? Nothing it just waved..

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im gonna poop my pants. mom said to wipe afterwards i am a teletubby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? If you don't know the answer by now, there's something wrong with you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops