What did the orphan kids get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats the difference between samios and a dog? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why couldn't the black man get a job? Because he was a violent sociopath with a criminal record.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo mamma is so skinny, she has developed anorexia, a serious eating disorder, which not only affects her, but also the ones that she loves and cares about.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

You know what pansies remind me of? What? A flower

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Donald Trump decided to run for President.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the black boy start crying when he was taking a dump? He thought he was melting

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Do you know what one golf ball said to the other? Nothing they are lifeless objects

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duck walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, what can I get you?" He is then checked into the psychiatric ward at the local hospital, for talking to a duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I had vodka + water and got drunk. had rum + water and got drunk. had gin and water and still got drunk. I've learnt my lesson. NO MORE WATER FOR ME

thumb_up thumb_down +4

if john has 400 cookies and eats 300 what does he have left? diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Tommy late for school? He got raped by spiderman.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops