Roses are red My bulb is blue My pants are extending When I look at you

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A blind man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at the man for a moment, then asks : - Excuse me, sir. Are you blind ? And the blind man says : - Yes.

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Turkey Balls

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What do you get when you mix a teenager with a tanning bed? Cancer

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knock knock whos there cops o shit come on they found out about pot lets go

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Q: Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? A: Neither did she...

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What's a good way to kill time? It's impossible to kill an inanimate object.

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Q: Why did the Jew have to go to a concentration camp? A: Because he was Jewish

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? This year I'm going to win the golden brief case!

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? It depends on a variety of factors such as the size of your mouth, the amount of saliva, etc.

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A bald guy walks out of a bar Prostate cancer

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Q: Why was the Asian teacher fired from her job? A: Because she always showed to school too late and to make matters worse the school had recently found out that she was a raging alcoholic.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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How do you get Pikachu on a Bus? Pikachu Is A Fictional Charecter.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. I don't stalk him on normal days because that is both weird and illegal, thus I cannot come to a conclusion to what he does on opposite day. However, since he is lonely, I hypothesize that he must do something social, since the opposite on that is lonely.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Still Carrying Heavy Pet Food? That sucks

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How am I supposed to know?

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Q: Whats better than not being a Jew? A: Being a Jew.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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Why did the Soviet plane crash? It was joseph Stallin in the air.

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The Blonde walked into a wall.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops